Food Fight!
I love a good challenge. A few weeks ago, the father of one of our seminarians challenged me to a meatball competition. I knew it would be quite a “food fight” when he smugly greeted me at the door, with a copy of my book - Recipes for Family life, probably trying to figure out the ingredients
Like I said, I love a challenge and we definitely brought our A-game to this one: his traditional meatballs, slow braised in a savory pomodoro al sugo versus my flavorful fusion inspired meatballs served with a vodka dipping sauce. The competition came complete with the smack talk that comes from serious competitors about a serious subject – food.
In the end, we had to call it a draw. Why? Because his family judged. They couldn’t turn against their own father. However, I won’t brag about how his two daughters asked to reserve some pasta to mix with my sauce. I also won’t go into details about how his family politely returned the containers with my meatballs empty.
The dinner table makes for a great place to bring our different approaches, opinions, ideas, and even challenges. With grace before meals and the grace that comes with every challenge, the entire family is always the winner.
I’ll share a little more about our recipes and the fun we had in the next section.
For now, I find the food fight theme a perfect way to respond to an email I received from a subscriber regarding last week’s email blast. If you recall, I specifically addressed the excitement of the 2009 March for Life.
I presented a very difficult and challenging topic to our table: the topic of abortion. I realize that not all share my enthusiasm for the right to life. Some may disagree with my pastoral belief of the direction President Obama is heading with his pro-active attempts to make abortion socially acceptable, morally reasonable, and unfortunately paid for by people who don’t support it seemingly without any consequences. Does that mean we can’t talk about challenging issues at our dinner table? That’s definitely not the Grace Before Meals philosophy!
For my family, the dinner table is exactly the place to have challenging discussions.
While most of our subscribers are American, generally Christian, and mostly Catholic, many subscribers come from other walks of life. That's what makes our website so family-like: we really do welcome all, just like Jesus welcomes all into His family.
One subscriber, a fellow clergyman from a non-Catholic denomination in a different country, was very unhappy with my message last week. His argument seemed more politically motivated and in support of President Obama, as opposed to actually addressing the substance of my case. He said that Obama is just as pro-life as me, even though he wants government to pay for abortions in other countries! Huh? I definitely don’t see the comparison. This person described my email blast as “divisive” and “unhelpful” in moving our world forward. My question: Move forward to what end? A culture that says the death of a baby is perfectly acceptable? He characterized the pro-life movement and my passion to stand up for the biological and medical reality that life begins in the womb as antiquated. He said that my views would lead women to unsanitary and unsafe forms of abortion. I beg your pardon, but what part of abortion is safe and helpful to women? Don’t forget, I have a lot of pastoral experiences counseling women who are trying to spiritually and emotionally recover from abortion. I can’t let their feelings and experiences go unheard.
It was a tough email to read. We’re both Christian clergymen. We worship the same God who said I have come (as a baby in Mary’s womb) to give you life; but we obviously disagree.
He unsubscribed.
He walked away from the table.
First of all, I want to apologize to him and anyone else who may have thought last week’s email was too strong or insensitive. I do not claim to be perfect. I know this serious topic brings out the passionate side of me; like the meatball competition.
If there is a way to express my pro-life views better, please email me and let me know how to do that. I truly wish this clergyman would call me personally and share with me a better, more sensitive way for me to say what God calls me to say. As a priest, I preach challenging messages all the time. I’m always open more effective communication so that people can ultimately accept the challenging message of the Cross of Christ.
But, I sometimes wonder if Jesus had preached his message more sensitively, would his opponents still have crucified him?
In this email blast, I ask everyone to consider the difficult topics in your family’s life. Do we talk about these things at our family dinners, or do we eat in silence, push the challenges aside, and pretend the injustices of the world do not exist? Or worse, do you walk away from the table altogether?
Please don’t leave the table. The table is the place where we should come together, talk, and challenge each other appropriately. Leaving the table symbolizes leaving the family.
We should try to discuss the tough stuff at the table, learn to listen to challenging topics, learn from each other’s views, and help each other express our thoughts in better ways. That’s why Jesus offered and requested table invitations with everyone, including people who disagreed with him.
Walking away from the conversation gives the impression I don’t care for you; I don’t think you’re worth talking to or listening to; I don’t think there is any hope in ever bridging a relationship. My fellow clergyman’s decision to unsubscribe can actually deepen the rift in a society that doesn’t want to talk about the important issues – such as life issues – in appropriate forums. That forum is our dinner table. In today’s media where sex, violence, foul language, and destructive messages are on every other channel, a pro-life group was not welcome to share a positive and encouraging commercial about the power of life with the Super Bowl audience.
As this former subscriber walked away from the table, NBC won’t even invite our pro-life message to their table.
Grace Before Meals exists not only to have fun with food, family, and faith; it exists primarily to deepen relationships through the healthy conversations that occur when God calls us to the table despite how different our paths may be.
As you can tell, I’d rather have a soulful, impassioned, and faithfully inspired “food fight” than have family members walk away from our table. And, God willing, my friend will come back to this forum. And, when he does, trust that I’ll prepare a feast: the fattened calf!
Attack of the Meatballs!
I brought a very small container of left over meatballs back to the seminary with me. I had one of the DeFusco specialties and one of mine. I asked Fr. Lee Gross, the Dean of Students, to offer his thoughts in a blind taste test. Here’s what he had to say:
Oh, it’s like Sophie’s Choice! They were all excellent. The larger, single one with the red sauce was the more standard and predictable. Still, it did have a very smooth texture, moist and nicely seasoned. The two smaller ones in the lighter sauce, however, were more original and surprising, with great flavor and a little zing. I enjoyed them all. How to choose?
Despite the different approaches and the very complimentary things that were said of both recipes, I’d just like to mention how the youngest child, Joe DeFusco, ate more of my meatballs than his dad’s. But, that’s all I’m saying. Click here my (winning) recipe.
For True and Lasting Communion
Every family has disagreements. But, even difficult challenges and divisions, can be healed by grace. It softens our hearts and molds words to reflect the love we have for each other. In this time, when world, moral, political, and spiritual problems create deeper divisions, we must continue to work for a holy communion – lest the communion we share touches only our lips and not our souls.
Let us pray: Jesus, You prayed that all will be one as You are one in the Father, and He is one in You. Heal our hurts, our divisions by taking away our pride, our arrogance, and our ignorance. Teach me and teach us all how to have the best table manners we can possibly have – the same You showed to us at the last supper – when You ate even with Your betrayer. Above all Lord, help us to avoid the temptation to leave the table, as Judas did, so that we can continue the communion we shared by praying grace after meals, too!
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Daily Reading & Meditation
Thursday (2/5): "They anointed with oil man that were sick and healed them"
Scripture: Mark 6:7-13
7 And he called to him the twelve, and began to send them out two by two, and gave them authority over the unclean spirits. 8 He charged them to take nothing for their journey except a staff; no bread, no bag, no money in their belts; 9 but to wear sandals and not put on two tunics. 10 And he said to them, "Where you enter a house, stay there until you leave the place. 11 And if any place will not receive you and they refuse to hear you, when you leave, shake off the dust that is on your feet for a testimony against them." 12 So they went out and preached that men should repent. 13 And they cast out many demons, and anointed with oil many that were sick and healed them.
Meditation: What kind of authority and power does the Lord want you to exercise on his behalf? Jesus gave his apostles both the power and the authority to speak and to act in his name. He commanded them to do the works which he did – to heal. to cast out evil spirits, and to speak the word of God – the good news of the gospel which they received from Jesus. When Jesus spoke of power and authority he did something unheard of. He wedded power and authority with love and humility. The "world" and the "flesh" seek power for selfish gain. Jesus teaches us to use it for the good of our neighbor.
Why does Jesus tell the apostles to "travel light" with little or no provision? "Poverty of spirit" frees us from greed and preoccupation with possessions and makes ample room for God's provision. The Lord wants his disciples to be dependent on him and not on themselves. He wills to work through and in each of us for his glory. Are you ready to handle the power and authority which God wishes you to exercise on his behalf? The Lord entrusts us with his gifts and talents. Are you eager to place yourself at his service, to do whatever he bids you, and to witness his truth and saving power to whomever he sends you?
"Lord Jesus, make me a channel of your grace and healing love that others may find life and freedom in you. Free me from all other attachments that I may joyfully pursue the things of heaven. May I witness the joy of the gospel both in word and deed."
Psalm 48:2-11
2 Beautiful in elevation, is the joy of all the earth, Mount Zion, in the far north, the city of the great King.
3 Within her citadels God has shown himself a sure defense.
4 For lo, the kings assembled, they came on together.
5 As soon as they saw it, they were astounded, they were in panic, they took to flight;
6 trembling took hold of them there, anguish as of a woman in travail.
7 By the east wind thou didst shatter the ships of Tarshish.
8 As we have heard, so have we seen in the city of the LORD of hosts, in the city of our God, which God establishes for ever. [Selah]
9 We have thought on thy steadfast love, O God, in the midst of thy temple.
10 As thy name, O God, so thy praise reaches to the ends of the earth. Thy right hand is filled with victory;
11 let Mount Zion be glad! Let the daughters of Judah rejoice because of thy judgments!
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(c) 2009 Don SchwagerSphere: Related Content
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